The formidable fifties!

                                                                                                            

Each phase of life has its own challenges, excitements, disappointments, triumphs, and embarrassments. But which is the most formidable decade in the life of a healthy average human being? We can argue for hours without reaching any conclusion. This is my take. If you agree, you are my buddy; if not, you are my friend!

The first decade is an innocent, cheerful sail-through under the doting watch of the elders. We demand what we want, get ecstatic when we get them, and cry aloud when we don’t. This is a decade happy for many and carefree for most. In the next decade dominated by the teens, our dreams get bigger, confidence soars, patience shrinks, and tolerance deserts. We get hurt easily, we hurt easily; a beautiful decade if we hold our heads over our shoulders.

The next one is the foundation for what is to follow. The wild, dreamy teenage years get a jolt as we face the challenge of taking on the world. We enjoy spending our own money. We learn to see independence and responsibility as two sides of the same coin.

And then, we get married!

The next two decades center around our families. We work harder to make our families happier. For the first few years, our ‘better halves’ steal the attention. By the late thirties, they are dethroned by our children. We live for our children and their future.

Let’s give the fifties a pass, for the moment.

In the sixties, redemption years begin and we look forward to a quiet life ahead. With children not needing support and not heeding unsolicited advice, we try to focus again on ourselves. But our minds fail to escape from our fixation with the children. Some adapt gracefully and get involved in meaningful work, social or creative, with an urge to leave a legacy. Great years to acquire knowledge without care to materialistic relevance; great years to repay our ecosystem; great years to work to be remembered after we are gone, and miserable years for those who cannot adapt. Going forward, whatever dominates our sixties - frustration or revelation - multiplies in the seventies and beyond as we set out for the sunset.

Now, the fifties! This decade stands in the twilight zone where extended youth prepares to reluctantly give in to advanced superannuation. Children leave home to pursue their careers; the dreaded ‘empty nest’ syndrome begins. Professional life gets less stimulating with reducing options. We discover that walking every day is necessary for good health. Counting calories, we start taking dry toasts for breakfast, munching it with a grimace, keeping the butter pot and the jam bottle at arm’s length. We worry too much; worry about the children surviving their first tryst with true independence, worry about the health of aging parents, worry about the adequacy of finances to see us through, worry about a recession, worry about our health-driven by fear of the unknown.

Top it with yesteryear regrets and you get a potent toxin to drink every day. To complicate things further, we struggle to rediscover and redefine our intimate relationships.  With the natural evolution of each person as an individual, we find it hard to renew vital connections on this alien landscape. Like famed Abhimanyu, we get to fight a formation of seemingly unbeatable challenges on all sides. The fifties, truly, are the years that push us to the limit!

This one is to salute those valiant fifty-something folks fighting it out there. May you come out stronger, shining like gold through a fire!  

August, 2013-08-03